Wednesday 13 February 2013

Reader Question

Q. Hi, I have an issue that I need some advice on. My fiancee and I chose to have a children free reception for many different reasons, most relatives including his father who has a 3 year old were understanding and even appreciative of this. however, one family member is shocked and outraged and is stating that "if his children aren't good enough to be at the reception then they aren't going to be in our wedding party" any advice on how to deal with this?

A.: It is very common for family and friends to attempt to dictate the way you run your day but the thing is - it's your day. If your partner's father can accept not having children as part of your day then the other guests should easily be able to as well.

As calmly as possible explain to the particular guest that you appreciate their honesty and accept that they feel that way though you can not make an exception for their child because you would then have to permit everyone else to bring theirs. Explain that you and your partner really do want to share your day with them, as adults, but understand if they feel that they truly can not attend. If you want to add something more, ask them what they think their children will get out of attending a reception? Speeches, waiting between meals and surrounded by grown ups isn't typically fun for a child.

In putting the ultimatum back on the guest it shows you are appreciating them enough to let them make the decision, but you have still laid out your guidelines. Ultimately most guests will feel guilty for trying to push you into a decision that was against your judgement, though some will stick to their guns and not attend at all. If this happens ask yourself - if they couldn't respect the wishes for your day and your decisions as a couple do you think they truly deserve a place in your wedding party? Your party should have only your best wishes at heart and respect every decision you make about YOUR celebration. A wedding is designed to represent the love of the couple and NOT provide a free feed and entertainment for families.

Stay inspired!
WtW

Monday 4 February 2013

Reader question.

Conveniently Ana's question ties into our next blog post (still in the draft stage.)

Q: My husband to be and me want to use our favourite colours in our wedding but his is ORANGE and mine is pink. How do I work with this?

A: There are a number of things you can do with colours in your decor and theming. For example why not have pink flowers with a soft orange ribbon around the base of a bouquet if you're wanting it in your bridal party or you can use a soft pink table runner (or napkins) with a mix of coral and orange flowers to create a centrepiece that 'pops' and still represents your colour choice. Alternatively you can negate the clashing by introducing a third middle-ground colour like a soft lemon, or a golden champagne. An accent of a navy or deep purple would also work well if you're looking to negate a decor explosion of bright colour. Though for some people a bright overload works with their personalities.

The most important thing to remember with decor and colour choices is to have it representing you as a couple. Don't go with sleek lines of black and white if your wardrobe represents the rainbow and your other half loves Hawaiian shirts - it will have your guests wondering who's wedding they really came to... so if orange and pink is your jive, you will find a way to make it work for you.

Stay inspired!
WtW

Friday 1 February 2013

Important Decision #2. The Professionals. Part 2.

continued...

4. Venues
Venues can be difficult, that is to say the least. Before approaching venues write a list of questions you need to know from each relating to your costs. Do they provide tables, chairs, lighting? Do they give you a cake stand? Do they have their own bar to serve your alcohol? What about coolers and a kitchen for caterers? Look carefully at the atmosphere you want to create before considering your venues.

If you need to hire your equipment for your venue (such as tables, chairs, etc) add an extra $500.00 per 50 guests.  If you need a marquee with lining for a garden venue, add a minimum of $1,500. Lighting and a dance floor, add another $200.00, how about the electricity connection for the band and the lights? Do you have a cable or generator? Is there a power source to connect to?

Garden weddings while seeming the cheaper option can work out much more expensive than utilising an already existing venue and their kitchens, onsite bathrooms, lighting and power facilities.

Venues vary too much in price to really examine how they fit into your budget, all we can insist is examine closely what you need and quote, quote, quote before committing to anything. Most venues will allow a tentative hold until another inquiry comes along, at that stage they may request a deposit.

Partial wedding planning services are available for anyone needing help with the nitty gritty details of Professionals.

5. Caterers
Caterers are the easiest Professional to fall into a money spending trap with. There are so many costs that add up to your day that aren’t entirely essential – ever considered serving the cake instead of dessert, garnished with cream and berries? How about canapés on arrival in place of your entrée? Do you really need that champagne for toasts, when the men and women are already holding onto beer and wine that they’d rather raise in your honour?

Have an in depth look at your menu and don’t accept things as they’re written. If the venue wants your service they will cater to you and your budget. If they don’t budge in their costs I recommend you consider elsewhere because you want someone who is willing to help you make your day what you want it to be, without breaking your budget.

You can look even further into the dishes too, changing ingredients to change costs. Chicken breast stuffed with camembert is always going to be more expensive than chicken breast stuffed with Philadelphia cheese and chives – but both are still delicious. Talk to the chef, not just the events coordinator and don’t be afraid to step into the nitty gritty details.

Watch for hidden costs such as corkage fee in places where you are allowed to bring your own alcohol. Sometimes caterers can work this to replace the costs they’d be missing from providing the alcohol and you’d be more beneficial by simply letting them.

When receiving quotes ask them to include all equipment they provide, if you’re having a garden wedding this is essential as they will charge extra to bring their own mobile kitchen.

Cutting labour/staff costs for the caterer can lower the price of your reception too. Ask for a buffet style – where plates are served onto tables for guests to serve themselves. This style often suits the more ethnic of weddings where food is a large  part of any celebratory custom.

For caterers expect anywhere between $80.00 -  $120.00 per person for three courses. For canapés, mains and cake as dessert you can cut costs to $50.00-$60.00 per person if you negotiate well enough.

6. Entertainment
What is the feel you want for your wedding? Are you inspired by the classical or do you radiate amongst jazz? Before factoring the costs of your entertainment you need to consider what fits with you and your celebration. Of course a classical set is going to cost you more than a four piece brass band – this is where a planner could come in helpful, sourcing the lowest costs for you.

A band can cost anywhere between $250.00 for a new on the scene duo for four hours, up to $800.00 for a relatively well known duo or four piece for five hours. Some bands depending on members and the equipment they bring can charge in excess of $1,500.00. Before you go gig-hunting, check the bands prices fit into your budget before you fall in love with someone you can’t afford. It’s happened to plenty of brides. First, price and gig guide. Second, attend gigs. Third, book and pay deposit. Stick to this, you’ll find someone you can afford and will keep you and your guests happy.

If you’re going for the classical style consult music teachers at your local schools and they will be able to point you in the direction of local instrumentalists who most times are more than affordable. If you end up sourcing your instrumentalists from companies be prepared for a much higher fee.

Budget aside; the musicians are part of what creates your atmosphere. Don’t forget if you have slow, soft music your guests are less inclined to let loose or be loud. If you’re the loud party type – this isn’t the direction to go. Really consider who you are as people and if you would enjoy the atmosphere you’re having your entertainment create. Also consider, are you the band type? Maybe you’re the eclectic type who loves fire twirlers and native drummers? Your imagination is your limit here and Way to Wed aren’t going to tell you where to stop.

Now that the basic Professionals are out of the way, we’ll be looking at décor and themes next. There’ll be a number of inspiration boards coming your way readers.

Stay inspired!

Way to Wed