Reader Question.

Q. Hi Way to Wed I don't know if you answer questions but I was wondering if you could offer some advice to me. My mother in law is absolute hell since my other half proposed and she keeps planning every part of our wedding without consulting me I just want to scream. What can I do to tell her to stop without putting a wedge between me and hubby!

A. This is a common situation where the two (generally) most important women in a man's life clash because one of them has known him his whole life, while the other still represents a very special part of his life. Unfortunately MIL (mother in laws) often overlook the fact that the bride is the entire reason for the wedding in the first place and can often step over the invisible boundary. The easiest way for everyone involved is to softly explain, on her next suggestion, that you really want your celebration to represent BOTH of you as a couple. Or perhaps try a subtle hint in a compliment like 'that's a great idea, though it doesn't really work with my vision of mine and insert-groomtobe-name-here wedding day.' You are best to approach as many smooth options as possible to deter the MILs suggestions before turning bridezilla and threatening to destroy the very reasons your man proposed in the first place (or you to him if you're a modern day woman.) The saying a happy wife is a happy life is really meant for the MILs.

Keep the MIL -reasonably- happy and you'll have smooth sailing with her son - but don't sacrifice yourselves in the process!!

Important Decision #2 The Professionals. Part 1.

Choosing who you have to look after certain aspects of your day is no easy choice. You are putting your full trust in these people and relinquishing that inner bridezilla's control. There are many factors to take into consideration but the major one really is how will they fit with you and your style? Although time consuming you are better off taking your time to select these people who are going to record what will be one of the most memorable days of your life. The expenses of these professionals shouldn’t be the highest priority but unfortunately it is something we need to balance out. Though keep in mind just because a professional is reasonably priced – doesn’t mean the quality of their work is poorer and vice versa.

1. Celebrants.
The cost of any celebrant is dependent on what you want them to bring to your day. The ceremony you have should be discussed with only you, your partner and the celebrant to decide what reflects your relationship the most. For some people this may be a sand ceremony, where sand is poured together to reflect ‘combining’ lives or ‘becoming one person; a butterfly ceremony with the symbolic release of butterflies or a candle ceremony. A simple civil ceremony can still set you back $600.00 or a more tailored, detailed ceremony can set you back up to $1,300.00. 

The most important thing to ask your celebrant when setting budget aside is the matter of legal documentation and how much they do for you. Paying $1,300.00 for a ceremony but having to complete and lodge the paperwork yourself is not a professional service and we strong advise you select somehow who will take care of that for you.

 

2. Photographers.
The first thing you should do with a photographer, much like a wedding planner, is shop around for somebody who can cater to your taste and blend with the atmosphere of your big day to capture the shots you want the most. Ask to see portfolios, unedited and edited pieces and testimonials. Try to avoid those who ‘photoshop’ their clients as this can detract from the natural beauty of your day. Ask if there are any of their clients who would be happy to be contacted in regards to their experiences with the photographer (the worst they can say is no.) Take into consideration the styles they prefer to shoot and if they will work with your style. For example if you prefer natural shots make sure the photographer’s speciality isn’t posed shots. Once you have seen all of these things and if you’re happy, sit down and discuss what sort of package they can cater to suit your day and your way. Discuss your budget with them and be firm on what you can afford. From here a quote should be delivered. Don’t get just one quote, have several options and keep some of their work for comparison. 

  With photographers keepsakes are often the highest cost such as bound wedding albums and framed pieces, you can often cut back on these by getting a digital disc of your images and selecting this yourself (if you’re the arty sort or have a friend who is.) It isn’t necessarily the products put into these pieces but the time and the labour. If you are short on budget this is one area you can cut out on and buy a pre-prepared album from your local Target or Kmart. For a package covering most of your wedding, usually around five hours labour, and a piece of artwork or two you’re looking at an average of $3,500.00. The more ‘popular’ a photographer is (not always more talented) the higher their price goes.

 

3. Videographers.
The first question to ask yourself with a videographer is do you really need it? If you are adamant that you want a professional video record of your day prepare for a dollar value shock. Videographers can cost anywhere from $3000.00 upward depending how much of your celebration you want them to film. If you are on a budget consider this expense carefully. Pose questions between yourself and your partner such as, do we have a relative with a camera that could do this for us? Could we rely on our guests to capture the special moments from different angles? What about our day do we need videoed? Most married couples I have spoken with have never watched their wedding video, with the exception of the day after. This is a personal choice, but if you are looking to cut down somewhere on expenses this should be one of the first places to look over.

Remember with professionals to be confident and assertive with what you want. This is your day, you are to guide them. That is not to say be rude, demanding and a bridezilla in waiting but be strong in your vision for your day. If you are planning these with a wedding planner ensure they understand what your vision is – draw it for them and pin it to the very front of their folder if you have to!!

 

Next time we will focus on part 2 of this blog featuring venues, caterers and entertainment. Following our professionals blogs we will look at decorating and themes.

Stay inspired!

Way to Wed.

#1.5 - Let's be realistic for a minute.

So assuming you’ve heeded the advice we gave in the last blog – which I bet 90% of you haven’t and have followed something along the lines of ‘My wedding isn’t going to be expensive I know how to do things cheaply AND look good’ still in your 'TBM' - we’re going to look at hiring professional services and how they fit into our budgets. If you are one of those cash savvy brides (or grooms) who have said you know how to keep things inexpensive, read on for an eye opener. If you’re already aware of how expensive things can get, skip to the next blog.

We all love to imagine things are going to happen much cheaper than they realistically will.

Weddings need five things:
1. A couple to be married.
2. A celebrant or priest to marry the couple.
3. Food and beverages (whether it’s cocktail or sit down your guests need to be satiated).
4. Special clothing (unless you’re the t-shirt and jeans kind of bride, then by all means raid your wardrobe).
5. Rings. (Or some other symbolic evidence of your marriage.)

It can be argued that number five isn’t necessary, but in today’s society, no wedding band generally means that particular person is available.

The five things we have listed are for the simplest wedding imaginable. No professional photographer, no make-up service and no hairdresser, it’s purely DIY. Picture a close-knit ceremony of only 25; you’re supplying beverages on ice yourself at a relative’s lush private gardens. A small events catering company is treating your guests to canapés.  You’re playing music from the surround sound and your relatives provided the marquee they already had for shade. 

Now prepare for a longwinded explanation on the details of each.  

1. You and your partner are the two most important pieces of your day. Budget aside this must be remembered, because you are celebrating you and the commitment you are making to one another. Your love comes at no cost – until you add the material things.

2. Celebrants vary in prices depending on the services you want them to provide. For a low key garden wedding they will charge fuel costs, the costs of all your paperwork (confirm this with them first) and their professional services fee. Budget $1,000.00 for your celebrant.

 3. For a small function catering prices tend to go up as caterers need to cover both the costs of food, staff labour, preparation time and make a profit for the business. For a cocktail, small key wedding, you are still looking at around $70pp. On ice you will need beer, wine, soft drink and water. A slab of 24 beers is on average $36.00, an inexpensive (but still delicious) bottle of wine can range up to $25 with four glasses from each. If your wedding celebrations are going to go for five hours that’s generally three drinks per person every hour. Realistically I don’t know anyone who holds onto a glass of wine for more than twenty minutes and Australians tend to get better at drinking when the cost is on someone else so we’ll account for four drinks for the hour.

Depending on your male to female ratio and who prefers what your quantities of each will change but for this exercise we’ll split it down the middle. Twelve slabs of beer will give you 288 beers. Between 13 people that is 22 drinks each or 4.4 drinks per hour.  50 bottles of wine will give you 200 glasses, between 12 people that is 16 glasses each or 3.3 per hour. Confused yet? If your wedding party are not big drinkers you can cut this down considerably – this is where a wedding planner would assist greatly; it is always better to over cater slightly than to under cater at all. Leftover beverages will always be used – or arrange with your supplier to return unused slabs with a receipt. 

On top of the twelve slabs of beer and fifty bottles of wine, you have soft drink and water. For a low-budget wedding tap water and ice with slices of lemon or lime is recommended. You can generally pick up bottles of 2L soft drink on special of $10 for four with about six glasses in each. The amount of soft drink depends entirely on your guests. Most will only drink the alcoholic beverages, but if you have children or non-drinkers, your soft drink quantities will rise. Serving jugs for water and soft drink can be picked up in two dollar shops anywhere. You will need at least four to avoid constant refilling.

You will need ice to keep your beverages cold and accessible and tubs to place them in. Aim for four again. For five hours, depending on the weather, you are looking at approximately two bags per tub per hour. So eight bags per hour or forty bags in total.

Totals of your minimalistic catering budget are this:
25 persons at $70.00ea for catering = $1,750.00
12 slabs of beer at $36.00 = $432.00
50 bottles of wine at $25.00 = $1,250.00
8 bottles of soft drink on special = $20.00
Water jugs at $2 ea (four for water, four for soft drink) = $16.00
40 bags of ice at $3.50 per bag = $140.00
Four plastic tubs at $7.00ea = $28.00

Your low-key food and beverage service totals $3,616.00. Remember on top of that you will need glass hire for wine glasses, or purchase them for $10.00 in sets of four from somewhere like K-Mart.

4. Clothing is often the most extravagant piece of any bridal party but it doesn’t have to be – quality seamstresses don’t always charge large amounts. To buy a dress that’s too big and have it altered will be considerably cheaper than having one made as there is no need to source fabric or cut out patterns. Hiring suits will be more cost effective than buying.

If your maid of honour and groomsman are buying their own suit and dress then the cost is minimalized. Suit hire for a groom with shirt, vest, tie or bow tie, pants and jacket will usually cost $500.00. If your groom is wearing his own suit you will save again. Budget $1,000.00 for your dress and $150.00 for your veil if you are having one. In total, budget $1,650.00 here and be prepared to shop around. Online sites, such as http://www.stillwhite.com.au are amazing for inexpensive, beautiful second-hand dresses.

5. The ring you and your partner choose for one another is entirely your decision. Budget at least $800.00 for each, totaling $1,600.00. Anything below that won’t be the quality you need to last the lifetime you look forward to spending together.

So in total your inexpensive wedding still comes to $7,866.00. That price is assuming you do not send out paper invites or RSVP cards and contact everyone in person or via telephone. Going back to our budget, if you’re putting $140.00 away a week that’s still just over 12 months of saving for your big day.

Next blog:  Important Decision #2: the Professionals.

Stay Inspired!
Way to Wed.

Important Decision #1: Budget & Date.

Most often when girlfriends become fiancés they tend to fall straight into a phase we like to call 'temporary bridezilla mode'. It lasts for around two weeks, where all decisions must be made immediately no matter the time frame until your wedding. These decisions, 99% of the time, will later be changed because the thought and planning processes were too rushed to really identify the important factors: the cost and the accessibility.

Unfortunately with weddings, money is a large part - the celebrant alone you are looking anywhere between $600 and $1000. So let's get down to the budget.

Before you start setting your date in a haze of excitement take a step back and look at your financials. Do you have a mortgage? Do you want a house before you're married? Have you been saving for your wedding? Was the proposal a surprise and you're starting with a zero balance? Evaluating your wants and needs are important. Draw up your income and outgoing expenses (as they are right at this minute) and evaluate what's left over. Set aside what you would usually put into savings, or if you're looking at buying a house set aside your mortgage costs (remember some of this can be taken from your rent). What are you left with? Is this your 'spending' money for a Saturday night out? Do you have a reasonable amount to put away for your wedding?

You and your partner should commit to setting aside the same amount every week. Let's assume, with entertainment costs and socialising (because nobody is going to give these up before a wedding) you have $70 each leftover a week, that's after committing some money to general savings. That's $140.00 a week put toward your wedding. One year -or 52 weeks- would give you $7,280.00. If you are starting from scratch and don't earn a high wage, you will need to consider a long engagement, or a smaller close-knit wedding. Depending on the size of your wedding, decide how much you need to save (and can save) then set your budget followed by your date.

We recommend setting up a bank account to put direct debits into. Call the account 'Wedding' so whenever you look at your account summaries you will be less inclined to touch the dollars building up. Trust us, you will need every dollar you can get if you're planning a big affair.

Average costs in the Goulburn Valley and Moira regions of Victoria for reception catering is from $90pp-$120pp, therefore, for a wedding of 150 people you are looking at around $15,000.00 - $18,000.00 alone. These costs generally include beer, wine and soft-drink only. Remember, your day is about you - so your budget should be too. Cut out where necessary - or hire someone who can do it for you.

At Way to Wed we source everything for you at a minimal cost designed to suit you and your partners tastes and lifestyle. We will work within your budget, design a saving plan, create themes, source DIY materials and even DIY for you! Way to Wed also have a Graphic Artist on our team to design personalised save the dates, invitations and place cards, for your day. Inquiries and quotes are entirely free and we will even answer a limited number of questions to help you set up the planning of your big day yourself.

In summary, from today's blog you should have taken the important information of: budget, budget, budget. Then select your date based on your savings plan and what you realistically can afford.

Next time:
Way to Wed will take a look into the cost of hiring the Professionals - Celebrants, Photographers, Videographers, Caterers, Bands and Venues.

Stay inspired!
Way to Wed

The Business is Born.

Way to Wed is born. What a fabulous day, with a lot of hard work ahead of us.

In our upcoming blogs we will be featuring some processes brides to be should really take note of in the early stages - all keys to planning the wedding of your and your partners dreams. Dates and budgets will feature in blog number one.

In the coming weeks we will be looking at affiliating with local businesses in the Goulburn Valley to assist you in compiling your options.

Here at Way to Wed we look forward to sharing all we can to help you before and on your special day. Please like us on Facebook and Instagram for daily updates.

- WtW