Q. Hi, I have an issue that I need some advice on. My fiancee and I chose
to have a children free reception for many different reasons, most
relatives including his father who has a 3 year old were understanding
and even appreciative of this. however, one family member is shocked and
outraged and is stating that "if his children aren't good enough to be
at the reception then they aren't going to be in our wedding party" any
advice on how to deal with this?
A.: It is very common for family and friends to attempt to dictate the way you run your day but the thing is - it's your
day. If your partner's father can accept not having children as part of
your day then the other guests should easily be able to as well.
As
calmly as possible explain to the particular guest that you appreciate
their honesty and accept that they feel that way though you can not make
an exception for their child because you would then have to permit
everyone else to bring theirs. Explain that you and your partner really
do want to share your day with them, as adults, but understand if they
feel that they truly can not attend. If you want to add something more,
ask them what they think their children will get out of attending a
reception? Speeches, waiting between meals and surrounded by grown ups
isn't typically fun for a child.
In putting the ultimatum back on
the guest it shows you are appreciating them enough to let them make
the decision, but you have still laid out your guidelines. Ultimately
most guests will feel guilty for trying to push you into a decision that
was against your judgement, though some will stick to their guns and not
attend at all. If this happens ask yourself - if they couldn't respect
the wishes for your day and your decisions as a couple do you think they
truly deserve a place in your wedding party? Your party should have
only your best wishes at heart and respect every decision you make about
YOUR celebration. A wedding is designed to represent the love of the
couple and NOT provide a free feed and entertainment for families.
Stay inspired!
WtW
Stay inspired!
WtW
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